This is the place where I say stuff. I promise not that it shall contain nuggets of truth, timeless wisdom, or even be at all sensical. It will most probably also not be witty and urbaine. If it is it's probably by accident. It will however be written by me, be spliced with my poetry and drawings, and it will rock. (maybe)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Only in Dreams

Hello. I thought I'd share a dream I had.
It was fairly bizarre, so this is as much an exercise
in catharsis as it is mere exposition.
To put it simply, I just had to tell somebody.

I can imagine the information I'm about to convey
being presented as exhibit in some sort of tribunal
concerning my societal deviancy and over indulgence
in comic books video games and horror movies.

At any rate here goes:

I don't remember exactly how this dream starts
but I remember a market. This market seemed to take place
in an environment which can best be described as a cross between
a massive many tiered shopping mall, and some sort of open air
(if that's possible indoors) fair or festival midway.
It was sort of like a flea market, with very unsafe looking
piles of various goods everywhere you looked, stacked
mountainously high,like yardsale skyscrapers.
There were also little food stands, not the sort of kiosks
you see in the food court, but the sort of makeshift portable
ones often set up at small amusement parks or concert events.
Of note, (to my subconscious mind anyway) was a pile
of old comic books that might've been encyclopedic in it's scope.
Although the word pile does not quite do it justice.
It was to comic piles, what Mount Everest is to rock formations.

I had been (for some reason or another, that had seemed
quite clear and perfectly rational as far as dream logic goes,
but as is often the case with dreams upon waking, since evades me)
following around a young girl and her mother, who seemed to be
enjoying the opportunity for a shopping expedition,
and were making a day of it. I say I was following them,
but a more accurate statement may be that I was walking
in the same general direction as they were, whilst
attempting to avoid detection by the mall(or festival?) security.

I'm not certain as to why the rent-a-cops in question where
after me in the first place, but if I had to hazard a guess,
I'd imagine it had something to do with similar behaviour to
that which I was exhibiting in trying to elude them.
Said behaviour involved ducking behind store displays,
running at high speeds, and clambering over counter tops
and escalators. At one point, I remembering scaling the
copious mounds of comic books, like some sort of mountaineer,
bounding from pile to pile, and then jumping onto other
hard to reach places using the 4 colour cliffs as a launch pad.
Not entirely sure what those hard to reach places where exactly,
although at some point I recall impossibly tall filing cabinets.

At any rate, if my actions in pursuing my escape route are any
indication as to my disposition in general, it's no surprise
I was brought to the attention of store personnel. I tend to
think they frown on that sort of thing, even in dreams
(where I imagine the rules tend to be more leniently enforced)

That being said, at some point during my running around the
mall/fair grounds like an incontinent chimpanzee,
(I believe I also stopped briefly to read some of the comic mounds
in question. Which might also have been why I was being chased.
The mall is not a lending library)the scene shifted to a sort
of lobby in some unknown hotel. Don't ask me how or why,
just go with it, I did. Anyway, this is where it starts to get
weird. First off I was standing around the lobby, and there
were these officious looking people talking amongst themselves.
They seemed to be some sort of social workers or something, as
there were a number of other people my age and younger in the lobby,
apparently staying at the hotel for some sort of retreat or conference.
At any rate, whilst they were chatting, I reached into my bag and pulled
out what was essential a toy water pistol (kind of looked like a super
soaker, with the water tank on top) only filled with candy.
Yeah that's right. The candy in question seemed to be remarkably
aerodynamic and pellet like (yet still edible apparently), because
the gun itself was fully functioning. That is to say, capable of
sending small pellet like candy hurtling through the air at great
speed and surprising accuracy. I was demonstrating said accuracy,
by shooting candy at people approaching the lobby entrance from
the street outside. I suppose I figured that anyone would be
delighted at being bombarded with candy flavoured ammo.
As one of my hapless victims approached the hotel entrance,
(apperently undaunted by long range confectionary weapon fire)
he seemed somewhat familiar. As he came into view, I realized why:
it was Jerry Seinfeld, sporting long raggedy hair and looking
for all the world like he had been living out of dumpsters
for quite some time. As to why he was at said hotel, I'm not certain
but I believe he was speaking to the youth or something. When he
walked in, he didn't even seem to notice me brandishing a weapon
that had most recently been used to propel unidentified flying candy
in his general direction. Or if he did he didn't mention it, which
was rather big of him.

At this point, I'm not certain of exactly what happened,
in what exact sequence, but I had left the lobby, (perhaps
fleeing the scene of the crime) and was exploring the
various floors of the hotel. I remember encountering other
people who were staying there, mainly girls around my age
who were with the conference/retreat. For some reason,
the hotel seemed to be ancient, less like a hotel and
more like an old forgotten castle or mansion. The girls
seemed somewhat bewildered and frightened, and I remember
that in this point in the dream the atmosphere became much
more tense and suspenseful. The halls of the hotel were
dimly lit, and carpeted with that sort of intricate
deep red carpet you only see in really old buildings or
in movies. For some reason, I was still running, trying
to evade some pursuing force, but as to what I am uncertain
now, I was acting on dream instinct, going with the flow,
reacting to events as they occured with whatever course of
action seemed most appropriate. In my dream I knew i needed
to escape something, and so I was, runnning up and down
staircases, and ducking into elevators.

Cue cuttaway scene. Don't ask me why, but for some reason,
a la comic book, cartoon, and campy 1960's tv show, my dreams
often have a "Meanwhile, in the shadows.." type interlude to
them, when the perspective suddenly shifts in order to fill
the "viewer" in on some other aspect of the "plot". Yes I'm
serious. At any rate, during this particular dream, the plot
point in question being revealed, was that the hotel was in
fact built on an acient pyramid/crypt type dealie
(apparently zoning laws are different in dreams.
One would imagine that an attempt to build a Howard Johnson
over say, the Giza pyramids, would be met with a fair amount
of resistance. Not so in this case evidently. Dream society
has no sense of history and culture.) which had once apparently
been the resting place of some sort of ancient being worshiped
as a deity. Said being was a gigantic creature made of living
sand, sort of like the Sandman from the Spider-Man comics,
only about the size of an apartment complex. As it turns out,
said ancient evil behemoth/living sandcastle had been awakened
by the appearance of the youth retreat group. Apparently, one of
said group, a young girl, was the decendant of somebody or other,
and therefore, was of paramount importance to the aformentioned
ancient evil sandman-meets-Godzilla type. I think maybe because
by using her in some dark ritual could me return to his full
power or some such thing. Not too clear, don't really recall.
At any rate, he was after her, and as any self respecting dream
protagonist will tell you, it was all up to me to save her.
(What do you want it's a dream, not Tolstoy)

So I spent a large portion of the rest of the dream running
from floor to floor of the hotel. I told the girl she was in
danger, and I think she got away somehow, not really sure,
dream didn't specify, but for whatever reason it was evident
to the dream me that she was no longer in danger.

I however, had yet to escape safely out of harms way.
Presumably as a direct result of my actions, I was now
being pursued by the nigh unstopable force of the
reawakened ancient evil....


Bom bom bom!!!

Cliffhanger ending!!

To be continued eventually!!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Yes I'm petty

Hello.

A while back, I was telling some folks, Sam and others,
that the word Bumbershoot, meant umbrella. I was under
the erroneous impression that it was a word of British
origin. It apparently is not. It is however a real word.
I present to you factual evidence, ye doubting thomases you.
This was taken from dictionary.com

1 entry found for bumbershoot.
bum·ber·shoot Audio pronunciation of "bumbershoot" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (bmbr-sht)
n.

An umbrella.


[Alteration of umbrella + alteration of (para)chute.]



In addition, wikipedia had this to say, I highlighted the most relevant passage:

Bumbershoot
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Look up bumbershoot in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

Bumbershoot is an annual international music and arts festival located in Seattle, Washington. One of America's largest local arts festivals, it takes place every Labor Day weekend at the 74-acre (299,000 m²) Seattle Center, which was built for the 1962 World's Fair. Seattle Center includes indoor theaters, outdoor stages, McCaw Hall, and Memorial Stadium. The name of the festival was taken from Bumbershoot, a colloquial term for umbrella, probably coined in the 19th century as a portmanteau of umbrella and parachute.

Thousands of artists, including musicians, poets, painters, dancers, comedians, clowns, disc jockeys, and more, perform at Bumbershoot in a three-day long adventure of music and art. Originally run by the City of Seattle, the festival adopted its name in 1973, when it attracted 200,000 visitors. For its first two years, it was known as Festival '71 [125,000 visitors] and Festival '72 [175,000 visitors].

Admission was free until 1980, when One Reel took over production duties from the city. The city stopped financing the festival in 1995.


So there. Nyah.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Ozymandias

Hey

I found this site called poemhunter, and I've decided,
that along with my own poetry, i'd start posting poems
I've enjoyed that were written by other people. As such,
I've gonna post this one, a poem I first read in highschool.
I'm fairly certain most of you might have read it as well.
I was always quite struck by the imagery. Here ya go:

Ozymandias

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear --
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.'

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Anonymity is overated

Hello

I found this poem online while searching for poems signed anonymous.

Thought I'd post it here. I rather like it, tho if it comes off as pro war to you, I make it clear that I'm a pacifist. The reason I like this particular poem, is becuase it points out the disposability of soldiers, how their viewed, and their role as pawns.

I'm not sure if that's how the author meant it, but hey that's what you get for not signing your work. Anyway here you go. It's quite short, so even if you hate it, it will at least be over with quickly.

God and the Soldier

God and the soldier
All men adore
In time of trouble,
And no more;
For when war is over
And all things righted,
God is neglected--
The old soldier slighted.


Anonymous

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Bah Bah



Hello

this is a sheep

I drew him for a very cute, petite, (and oh so very not single)french canadian girl from work. While hardly something I would put in my portfolio, I shall display it here for all to see. If nothing else to keep me humble

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Black and white Aslan



This is a black and white version of a drawing of Aslan I did for my portfolio.

Figured I'd post it here.

Ducks in Space



Hey der. It's me again, ruler of all I survey, master of disaster, king of calamity, kid wondeful, Matt X. Submitted for your approval, the above drawing was done by friend and work comisserator Joe Toufexis. I asked him to draw a rubber ducky. He drew one in space. I gotta do a watercolour painting in this vein, cept mine's gotta be a pirate rubber ducky. It's a "commissioned work". Given my usual work ethic/time management skills, it should be finished some time early 2008. Look for it soon(ish)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Joe's ninja



What do you do when you get utterly and completely tired of drawing something?
You pawn the work off on someone else. This Sucker er...I...mean my good friend
Joe Toufexis, was kind enough to draw this ninja for me, thus saving me the trouble
of having to draw another one. Also, we both drew ninja's from imagination, sans
referrence. As i recall, his was better. But you didn't hear that from me.
I think the one I drew was the spider clan ninja drawing a few posts ago.
Decide for yourselves America!

Crappy Monster



This is a drawing of a monster I did, with no referrence, on a napkin. It is
in all seriousness, quite possibly one of the worst drawings I have ever done.
Why am I posting it here? From some sense of masochistic self deprecatory angst?
Because I subconsciously want to sabotage myself? Because I just don't give a sh*t?
All of the above, even when mutaully exclusive principles? Possibly. Anyway here it is.
Enjoy. Or riot in the streets. Whichever.

Friday, July 07, 2006

The Octopus is on the move



This was drawn on a napkin by my Brother In Law Chris, proprietor of the Bazooka Radio
Blog, a fine publication in it's own right, tho not quite as unabashedly awesome as the
one you are currently perusing. Upon repeated threats to my life and welfare, i conceded to post the sketch here. I quite like it, despite it's obvious pro-socialist,
anti-marine biology agenda, and it's deviant sexual overtones.

DD Ninja 2



Yet another homage to the great art of JRJ. I'm gonna colour this one in in watercolour then repost it. I really want to perfect my own style, but If I ever get to be at least
as good as people like this, I'll be happy.

DD Ninja



This marker drawing is a er...homage....yeah that's it....to the cover art from
the Daredevil man without fear trade written by Frank Miller, and drawn by the
incredible John Romita Jr. One day I shall match your skills John, and then the
world is mine!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ahem..yes

Nature girl



This is a drawing a girl from work did for me. She doesn't seem to think it's very good, but I like it quite a bit. It's got an art nouveau qality to it.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Spider clan ninja



Hey! It's another ninja drawing! Hurray! I'm not sick of ninja's now!
Not even a little. Jeremy can i stop yet?!?!?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

full coulour ninja



This colour ninja brought to you by crayola sketching markers

Good enough to get the job done, just barely

Monday, July 03, 2006

A happy poem about despair, fear and self doubt

Hey der.

I wrote this poem on one of those lazy, sunny, not a care in the world days
I started writing about how zen and peaceful i was feeling, when I started to question why that's such a contrast to any other day. This poem is the result. Enjoy:

Basking in the glory of
these moments of euphoria
The gentle warmth of sunshine
a breeze against my skin

Is this another story of
the thoughts that I've been storing up
till they start to overtake
the state of peace that I was in

It's in these moments of reflection
that I question the direction
that my life's been taking lately
Am I walking the right path?

Another chance for introspection
reveals a certain predilection
for allowing life to sweep me up
like wind catching the chaff

It's admidst this realization
that I am struck with the sensation
that I create my own emergency
by the way that I react

This isn't self actualization
or some breakthru meditation
It's just coming to accept
that my own head can be a trap

When life's daily aggravations
induce a state of agitation
I'm finding more often than not
the answers sitting in my lap

When I let the past control me
and there's nothing to console me
I am mixing my own poison
drinking deep in my regrets

What I need is greater Knowledge
Of the vastness of your Solace
Hold me fast in your embrace
it's still your touch that heals the best

Ninja is a four letter word

Ninja this, ninja that

Corporate Zombie sketch 2! (represent)



Finally, some more Zombie pics of the much under represented (as of late) Zombie demographic. All you undead brain eaters finally get your props. Shout out to my man George Romero, and to the good folks at Capcom.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Wild Zero does not endorse this drawing



Neither does Guitar Wolf.

Rock and Roll!!