Hey, if anyone's still out there, hello again
I wrote these poems about a year ago to try to deal with some crappy pseudo relationship
stuff. Now seems like as good a time as any to post themThey're not very good, but whatever man, they were cathartic.
Feel free to mock them openly.
Ways not to let it show
Kill your heart, hide the pain, forget the tears you cry
There's nothing here but death for you, no matter what you try
For all your fiery passion, for all your pretty words
in the end you are a child to her, foolish and absurd
your passion and your poetry, your vision and your songs,
amounts to naught but wasted breath, and every note is wrong
You cling to your naïveté, your foolish thoughts of love
she thinks you speak of subjects you don't know the nature of
you lack an understanding, a knack for laissez faire
it's a badge of your adulthood, the art of meaningless affairs
She won't respect your feelings, she'll never taste your tears
your emotions are beyond her,they hold no meaning here
I think you want to play the victim, she was happy to oblige
certain lessons learned by bleeding can't be gathered otherwise
Do you feel a little wiser, with those bruises on your soul?
Or areyou history repeating, a losing battle with control?
Raise a glass to wasted sorrow, here's a toast to pointless tears
You start doubting your tomorrows, when you dwell in bygone years
Your decision is to focus on the good times that you had
You will put the past behind you, no more time for being sad
You may have learned a bitter lesson, hanging on to hard won truth
another chapter for reflection in the annals of your youth
Just don't let the past consume you when the present beckons now
You are bound for better things than grief and bitterness allow
It may be time to reevaluate leaving your heart out on your sleeve
your candor and sincerity will oft not be well received
The truth is honesty is simply not a virtue anymore
We traded up for games we play and hearts like bolted doors
But to steel yourself against the hurt would be difficult indeed
The feelings that you hide away could be the very ones you need
Be true to what you are inside, don’t ever lose your hope
You are a thousand possibilities on a million different roads
Words to live by
You're not being
very Mature
she said
and he was
left
standing there foolishly
heart in his hand
wondering what maturity
has to do with
the pain
he was feeling,
and how
it could ease it.
Don't tell me
what to feel
she said
I know what I want
and who I am
I don't want your advice
I don't need it
Her words
cut through him
like a knife
and left him
to question why
his own
feelings
seem somehow
secondary,
but hers
were
paramount.
His feelings
wont go away
his feelings
were the ones he had to live with
and at the end of the day
it was his feelings
that weighed him down
like bricks
when he felt like
this past year
all he'd been doing
was
treading water,
desperately trying
to keep from going
under
again,
struggling to
catch his breath
as his head sunk
under the waves
and he somehow
managed to
break the surface
again
and keep from drowning.
His feelings
were honest,
with no duplicity,
nothing
heldback
everything
laid out
on the table
take them
or
leave them.
She left them
they were of no use
to her
too simple
too pure
life is far
too
complicated
for
your
childish love.
She wanted to
be friends
she said
just
friends
and
then
she
kissed
him
and it was amazing,
a moment of
pure
magic
that changed him
awakening a part of him
that he'd thought
was dead
forever
that he may have
killed
himself
without
knowing it
It was
a moment
where
time
stood
still
and the only thing
that mattered
was her
she was his
whole world
in that instant
if he could have
he would have stayed
with her
forever
Then she moved on
she had
better
things
to do
than
waste time
with
little boys
or men
with
boys hearts
She had
responsibilities
a life
she had
all
mapped
out
in her head
a plan
and
he
didn't
fit
he was chaos
an uncertainty
that she
just wouldn't risk.
She knew
what
she
wanted,
and you
weren't
it
boy
Why couldn't you
just accept that?
why
can't
you
just
move on?
Why are you
crying on the bus
in front of strangers
like a fool
a fool
who loves
too much
feels
too deeply
out of place
in a world of cold steel
and disconnection
a little too alive.
Relax she said,
you're too intense
and he had tried,
he
really
had
but he was prone
to being swept up
in waves of emotion,
it was his blessing
and his curse.
There was
no salve for it
no balm
no matter
how hard
he tried to change it
it remained
a part of
him
he could
no more
deny it
than he could
stop breathing.
He wanted to be happy,
wanted to
be loved
It was
all
he wanted
really
to love others
and to
be loved
in return.
He had
allowed
himself
to think
he might
have found it
someone to love
someone who
would love him
in return
but
she did not
could not
and so he was
alone
again
left with nothing
but memories
and the bitter solace
of his own thoughts.
There was
no malice
in his heart
he still cared
for her
he wanted her to
be happy
to
be loved
even if
it meant
he would be
alone
He would have
given anything
for her
would have tried
to be
anything
she asked of
him
and that was
perhaps foolish
as well
because people should
love you
for who
you are
and he had been willing
to lose
himself
in her
in pursuit of
her love
Perhaps
she was right
all
along
they were
not meant to be
but this realization,
too little
too late
was of
no comfort
did nothing
to ease his sadness
It swept over him
in waves
bitter and yet
beautiful
like sweet music
at a funeral.
Three is the magic number
they say
third times the charm
a holy trinity of heartbreak
and this time
it finally did the trick.
The boy's heart
was not immune
and though it would
not allow itself to
cloud over
with bitterness
would not
succumb
to sadness
and despair
and become
cold
like the hearts of men
who long ago
forgot the joys
of their youth
the beauty in the everyday
it was not above
learning lessons
especially
the hard way
He would not
stop feeling
but he would
leave
turn away
and
not
look
back
he would not hide
from pain
it was the twin of joy
the two
seemed inseparable
but he certainly
would not seek it out.
He wished her well
he hoped
that she would
find
what
she
was
looking
for
be happy
and loved.
He would
never
forget
her
would
always cherish
what they had shared,
but time
moves
us
all
onward
and life has a funny way
of leaving us
behind
if we don't
keep
the
pace
He could no longer stay
with her
it only led to sadness,
he would
no longer
abide in sadness
would not
willingly
partake
in a game
where
he was
always the loser
He would
move on,
but
he would
take a part
of her
with him
always
hidden away
in that boys heart
protected from harm
his secret treasure.
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