Same day, different sh$t

Yep I'm posting again. Twice in the same day I know. But I gotta make up for lost time see, cuz my computer was down for a few days. So anyway, it occured to me that some of you out there might be interested in learning a bit more about me (Hey it could happen, shut up.)So I thought I'd give you a brief insight into the genius that is Matt. And what better way to do so than by means of hard hitting, no holds barred journalism.

(Caution: May include "liberal bias". And by liberal bias, I mean of course my opinion. And by my opinion, I of course mean the gospel truth.)

So I present for your approval, a totally objective interview with Matt X.

Totally Objective Interviewer: "So Matt, how did you get to be so awesome?"

Matt: "I'm not sure really, I've just sort of always been this way."

TOI: "I see...so how do you deal with the pressures and responsibilities that come with being the object of admiration for everyone who's in the know?"

Matt: "Well it can be hard some times, I tell you. The trick is to take it one day at a time."

TOI: "Do you still find time for the little people? You know like, everyone else?"

Matt: "Oh for sure, for sure....I mean, you have to remember where you came from right? Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got...something, something... No, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be where I am today without the continued support of people like you." (Gestures towards audience, cheering ensues)

"Thank you, no you're too kind..." (Raises hand...audience quiets back down )

TOI: "Can I ask you Matt, what's it like to be you? What goes on inside your head?"

Matt: "Well that's a very good question.... Let me see, how do I best convey this...You know that feeling you get when you do something that you're really proud of, you know a really cool accomplishment?"

TOI: "Yeah..."

Matt: "Well, multiply that tenfold, that's how I would feel after just like, I don't know....making toast or something....Even the smallest things I do are pretty much more awesome than like the normal human mind can withstand."

TOI: "I dunno man, don't you think that's a little narcissistic?"

Matt: "Next question..."

TOI: "Okay sorry, didn't mean to put you on the spot...I do have one last question though..."

Matt: "Okay, but this is the last one, I really gotta get going..." (Audience: "Aawww....."

TOI: "Okay I understand, you're a busy man....I'll make it quick....Some people would describe you as egotistical, how would you respond to this criticism?"

Matt: "Okay....That's it, this interview is over!"

***Storms off***